Opening up
Coming out is a very difficult topic, which not many people like talking about unless they’ve got a particularly happy story…and there aren’t many of them. Societal pressure tells you that no matter how you choose to come out, someone will react the wrong way. Every single LGBT person I’ve spoken to who is out has told me they wrote loads of coming out speeches for every audience you can think of – parents, siblings, wider family, friends, colleagues, line manager – but it never goes the way you’d planned.
Ultimately, this is all an attempt to control the impact of how you come out, because you don’t know how the other person will react. Realistically though, you never stop coming out. It’s not so much the need to go around proactively telling each person you engage with; it’s the fact that it tends to come up at some point in a conversation, followed by a variety of ensuing questions.
Impact on mental health
Having come out myself eight years ago, I have experienced the mental challenges of preparing for ‘uncloseting’, and I’ve seen how colleagues have come out or remained closeted, as people have struggled to reconcile being their ‘authentic self’ and feeling safe at work.
When I joined Leonardo, I was happy to be associated with the LGBTQ+ community, but I didn’t feel the specifics of how I identify were relevant at work. Additionally, I wasn’t sure how my colleagues would react. So you end up spending a lot of energy listening to what they’re saying and how they respond to different topics, before deciding how to broach the subject.
If you’ve ever tried keeping a big secret, it becomes the only thing you think about. For example, ‘what did you do at the weekend?’ suddenly becomes a landmine of a question, if I don’t want to disclose that I have a girlfriend and that I was volunteering at an LGBTQ+ organisation. You end up hiding behind layers of excuses, half-truths and quick thinking, which is absolutely exhausting mentally. Eventually, I stopped hiding what I wanted to say and stopped overthinking it.
Particularly in the trans community, people often leave the place where they’re working, go through the transition process, then get a new job elsewhere, so that they don’t need to deal with the in-between stage within a working environment.
The value of a Pride Network Group
Since setting up Leonardo’s Pride Network Group three years ago, I think it’s definitely had a positive impact on people’s understanding and knowledge of LGBTQ+ issues. But I’m not going to pretend we have resolved all the issues just yet. I’ve been aware of small pockets of negativity about the group, and have been contacted by colleagues who are too afraid to come to network events simply because other people might think they’re LGBTQ+. Or if they are LGBTQ+, it would out them by attending. These are ally-inclusive events; you don’t have to be LGBTQ+ to attend them.
There can’t be a culture of fear ruling people’s interactions at work. You can’t work as a team if you’re constantly afraid of the backlash. It’s not psychologically safe!
I would never want people to stop being curious, and I endlessly welcome questions, as long as they are not intrusive. One of the reasons we have the Pride network is for people to ask questions. Just because there’s someone you know or are friends with or you are related to who is LGBTQ+, doesn’t mean they suddenly become your personal encyclopaedia for all things LGBTQ+. The reason we are a network, is because if I, as the Chair, don’t have the answer, there’s someone else I can go and ask.
Investment in inclusion and diversity
The massive amount of investment by Leonardo UK into inclusion and diversity and the associated inclusion training is doing wonders. It’s not just about LGBTQ+ inclusion; it’s covering all aspects of inclusion, and has definitely brought the company culture to a much healthier place, especially as we’re now digging a little bit deeper and addressing subjects including psychological safety, mental health and trust.
By taking this approach, people are no longer just heads on the head count; they are individuals with individual wants, support needs and identities, all of which must be recognised.
Part of developing an inclusive culture is the focus on actions rather than words. It’s about keeping people safe at work. Whether they choose to be out, closeted or neutral, I want them all to have that choice. I don’t want them to be afraid at work. I don’t want people to be scared of being out. And I don’t want people to be scared of asking the wrong questions, as long as they consider context and timing, and are asking with good intent.
I’ve been with the company for five years now, and the positive change that has taken place during that time is phenomenal. There is much more vocal support from the top, that wasn’t seen previously at senior management level. It’s encouraging to see our leadership community stepping in, recognising that they don’t know everything about the subject, but doing their best to support people when we need it.
